haunted ;
today was a bad day. of stomach ache, diarrhea, breaking out in cold sweat, freaking cramps, gastric, headache, neck ache. ive been having headaches n neck aches for days. itz cos uh my neck cramped? haha the vein or sth i dunno. yeaaa so it has caused my headaches for the past weeks o.O n my mom is always so damn right. blah she nags n goes on n on blaming me abt my postures n stuff. n ya haha itz realli true according to wm's shifu. he said the same stuff too.
n then there was the talk by mr leow just when i was having gastric o.O yeah realli made me realise the urgency i guess. i realli wanna buck up. hai.
having been feeling realli terrible these days. crying in class without anyone noticing. ive just been feeling tt everything is so out of my control n tt everything is falling apart all over again. not tt ive actualli realli patched them back together in the first place anyway. just feel realli out of place in class sometimes n it's getting quite tiring. but i guess it's actualli just me isolating myself. casual talks here n there? yeah okay. but nothing more than tt actualli. n i think im actualli getting indifferent n numb abt tt.
n abt studies. hafnt been able to catch up much. TWO upon 25 for complex test is realli demoralising. plus i dun think i did well enough for differentiation test nor econs test nor bio test. hai.
n abt him. i dunno wad to say la hai. it's realli not easy to hold on. so many times ive thought of letting go. but i noe im not prepared for it. there r still the times of happiness n stuff anyway. but less of it already. im concerned abt tt i think. just tt i pretend tt itz all still all right. always so much stuff tt i wanna say, but i just dunno how to express myself. there i go ranting away abt my certain teacher being sucky cos she cant explain the subject she teaches well n she cant express herself well, not realising tt i am like tt myself too.
okay enough abt all those stuff. at least my night did not end off badly. just happened to read something nice from kelvin's blog. im glad hes a lot better off without me now.. n tt he has realli matured n grown a lot. im now actualli feeling sorry tt i was so immature tt i didnt appreciate him enough. at least we've learnt, we've grown, n we've gone so far on our separate ways n found our own happiness.
n i noe we will all go further. i must be stronger.
time;11:47 PM